“Red Two,” directed by Dean Parisot

Movie, 2013

Flash, forgettable and largely unremarkable dirge, in which a team of crack somebodies, played by A-list screen presences, swan through death, brutality and one tired scene rammed into another, globetrotting and collecting an increasingly wearying body count as they go. While some of the humour may have been wasted on me, what I did pick up was disagreeable and unpleasant and did nothing to lighten the load of clichés shoehorned in for all they were worth. The presence of heavyweight luvvies is possibly the only diversion here, though even then, the Brits are baddies. It may have paid to have seen the original Red, but as a standalone, this crash-bang-wallop delivers very slim pickings.

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